Thursday, August 18, 2011

Back on campus!

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
Tell myself that I don't miss you at all
Not lying, denying 
That I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever

These are lyrics from the song "Gone Forever" by a band called Three Days Grace. And they pretty much describe how I feel right now...about the music major. I kept wondering if I would miss it. I kept wondering if I'd end up regretting my decision. And there have been tiny little pangs, as I have returned to campus today and seen things or people that reminded me of the music major. But they were more like, "Oh yeah, I remember when..." or "Hey, there's good old ____ from ____ music class last year." I can't be more happy with, or proud of, my decision.

First time you screamed at me
I should have made you leave
I should have known it could be so much better
I hope you're missing me
I hope I've made you see that I'm gone forever

I used to think that to stay the course in the music program, to labor on even though it was painful and tiresome, was a sign of strength. That if I changed majors, it was "giving up." But now I think that it's more strong and brave to give up the safety of an activity or lifestyle you've gotten used to in favor of something new, where you don't know how it will turn out. I stayed in music because I thought there was nothing else for me. I was afraid of change. The first time I felt depressed and stuck last semester, I should have known...that there was something wrong with this major. But now I've faced my fears and am much happier for it.

But anyway, I'm all moved back into my dorm. It seems like I have twice the amount of stuff as last year. Here's a photo of my living room when I was what I consider to be 80% packed:

And here's a photo of my dorm, all set up and looking neat. I think I got it looking cooler than last year. Still have to add some stick-on, removable, wall decals:

I think it's going to be a great year.

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