Yup, it's that time of year...time to pack up everything and go back to college. This year is different, though. This year will be the first time since about 8th or 9th grade that my whole life doesn't revolve around music. I'm gradually starting to feel better about starting a new chapter in my life. Saxophone is seeming more and more like something I did to challenge myself, become social, and fill my time rather than something that would have actually been a good career fit for me. Why did I overestimate my love of playing, then? I don't know, and I don't really think I care. I made a choice that turned out to be the wrong choice but now I fixed it and made the right one. I went through EVERY MAJOR available at the main campus website until I concluded that the College of Communications would be the best for me. And why not? I'm a strong writer and speaker, and paired with a tourism minor, this career will give me that opportunity to travel the world that I've craved for so long.
So along with all my clothes, alarm clock, textbooks, and dorm accessories, this year I'm packing up my massive piles of sheet music - really there are so many booklets and solos to fill an entire box! - and putting them in the basement for storage. I can't ever think of selling them. First, because I pretty much obliterated them by writing all over every page. Breathe here, get louder here, slow down here. To someone who doesn't read music, it probably looks like the Rosetta Stone. Second, because that was a huge time period in my life that has affected me, and will continue to affect me. While cleaning out my closet, I also found a bunch of items from high school marching band, including a booklet of memories that the underclassman mellophone section made me when I graduated. I almost started to miss it. I wondered if I was making the right choice. For how miserable I was during the second semester of freshman year, I DID have an amazing time in high school marching band, and I wouldn't have traded that for anything. But give up almost 18 hours of my week in college for marching band? No thanks.
Now I'm going to try some new things and come back to some old things I've missed. I want to sing in an a cappella group. I'm going to join the ballet club, which will hopefully improve my dancing for musical theater. And once I save up enough money, maybe I can join the equestrian team. I miss riding horses a lot...and I gave it up for marching band. All my life, I was like a slave to the saxophone and to my schoolwork, trading socializing and other hobbies for practicing and studying. Well, now I don't have to practice anymore...I do it when I feel like it. That's freedom.
My alto saxophone is going in the pile of things to take to college, still, minus the hundred pounds of music and accessories I used to need to take with me. Will I play much? That remains to be seen. I might be in the non-audition concert band. But so far I don't feel like playing much. I'm changing and moving on. Change is good. Stagnation is bad. Here I come, world.